Singapore kitsch

The big bad Giant Buddha

See our Singapore photos.

I've finally had time to upload some Singapore photos. We were only on the island for a couple of days. The place is amazingly clean and looks like it was only built yesterday. This is mainly due to the multiple fines that are exercised. We had to bin our chewing gum before crossing the border (it's banned because it stains pavements) and after two months of sprinting across busy roads (the usual practice in Thailand and Malaysia), we had to restrain ourselves in Singapore, or feel the wrath of a hefty jaywalking penalty.

Although it's spotlessly clean, there is a downsize to a nanny state: condescending government posters. I took a photo of a public information poster that I found near a food hall. Helpful instructions such as "wash hands regularly" and "spit, cough and sneeze into tissue" really put those suited workers on their lunch break in their place.

We visited several different temples of different faiths in Singapore, but the Temple of 1,000 Lights will always stick in my mind. Most temples are tasteful, but this is like Buddhism-meets-Vegas. The interior is dominated by a giant concrete buddha surrounded by a Ready Brek-glow of almost a thousand lightbulbs. Tourists have to pay 5 Singapore dollars (almost two quid) for the caretaker to switch them on. We didn't bother. In another corner sits a wheel of fortune. We shelled out 50 cents each to experience the pleasure of spinning the wheel to reveal our fortune (see photo). Our wheels both stopped on 'snake' - what it meant, I can't remember.

After discovering our destiny, we climbed up the giant buddha's arse to literally enter the statue's bowels. Inside was another statue of buddha, this time reclining. The place wouldn't have been stranger if there was a helter skelter around the big concrete fella's gut.

We also went to Raffles Hotel - the birthplace of the Singapore Sling - and sunk a couple of the overpriced cocktails. It was rammed with tourists doing the same thing, other than a couple of guys on beer (obviously they weren't man enough to handle a bright pink cocktail). Patrons are encouraged to eat peanuts and toss the shells on the floor - I'm not sure why and neither was the waiter I asked, but I think it was something to do with the British who originally frequented the swanky hotel finding it amusing to pretend to be peasants and litter the place. The result is a steady crunch of shells wherever you walk, with finches darting in now and again to sift through the debris.

Where are we? We're still in Perth, but on Monday we head slowly North to Broome (where temperatures are topping 38°C, dammit!), seeing sights along the way.